Ass groove

[17:56] Me: my mom is all about wasting money
[17:56] Me: it's a huge problem
[17:56] Me: anyway
[17:56] Me: I won't rant about her
[17:56] Me: instead
[17:56] Me: I shall talk about my old computer chair
[17:56] Me: that I love
[17:56] Me: because it's falling apart
[17:56] Me: but it's awesome
[17:56] Me: you can tip back in so many dangerous ways
[17:56] Me: it's like an adventure every time you sit down
[17:57] Laura: heehee
[17:57] Laura: and super comfortable I'm sure
[17:57] Me: it has an ass groove better than Shakira
[17:57] Laura: ....
[17:57] Me: (does Shakira have a good ass groove?)

Final Paper

Swamy: Sadly, not many sentences escaped my wrath
Me: good
Me: those motherfuckers
Me: trying to communicate
Me: the nerve

Childhood Obesity

Ishan: anyways, i asked about camping, and you didn't give me a clear answer
Ishan: know this I am very sweet
Ishan: infact I am responsible for most childhood obesity in america
Ishan: so, that should no doubt convince you

Caveman vs. Zombie

Me: yawn
Ashley: good morning sunshine
Me: I'm trying to figure out which I'm closer to upon waking up
Me: a caveman or a zombie
Ashley: hahahaha
Ashley: thats cute
Me: you're cute
Me: awwwwww shit disssss

Package for Alex

[12:06] Me: Dood we should ship Alex something funny
[12:06] Dave: like fecal matter in a bag

The New Deal

Though the depression wrought by lack of blogged AIM chatter has been great, I have no formally relocated the confused mass to its own blog, what you see here. From now on I'll place AIM snippets where they belong. Happy smileys.

Talents

[22:28] Will: I must say jeff, your web designing skills have grown tremendously over the years[22:28] *** Auto-response sent to Will: I am Finding Neverland
[22:28] Will: Also I'm ranked 5000 out of 500,000 in Battlefield 2142

Unnecessary Cars

[02:46] Alicia: im not in the market for a new car...and i'll never be able to afford one...so i don't know what it is exactly that im trying to accomplish
[02:46] Jeff: You're becoming informed
[02:47] Alicia: haha
[02:47] Jeff: or falling prey to evil soul eating consumerism
[02:47] Jeff: you decide
[02:47] Alicia: do you know you can get a mercedes for only 30,000??
[02:47] Alicia: incredible
[02:47] Alicia: i think
[02:47] Alicia: im going to ride a bike
[02:47] Jeff: No, but that's about as much as I might be making per year after I start working
[02:47] Alicia: for the rest of my life
[02:47] Alicia: hahahahahaha
[02:47] Jeff: man, helping people
[02:47] Alicia: i know
[02:47] Jeff: what a sweet deal

Katsup

[14:32] Kristin: hey
[14:32] Kristin: last night i had a nightmare that i kept spraying jo ann with ketchup and couldn't stop
[14:42] *** "Kristin" signed off at Wed Nov 15 14:42:21 2006.

Moving in

[22:33] Me: you left like 80 things here
[22:33] Jeremy: I do that
[22:33] Me: including a toothbrush and towel and DVD's for your brother
[22:34] Me: I assume this means you're planning on moving in
[22:34] Jeremy: love to, thanks for the invite
[22:34] Me: in response I've stolen a piece of the great wall of china and placed it in our family room
[22:34] Me: so unless you change your name to atilla and marry a hun there's no way you're getting through
[22:34] Jeremy: I must invoke insanity in people...
[22:34] Me: And if you and Jian Wei get married I call I get to be the bridesmaid
[22:35] Jeremy: christ, you can read my mind?!?
[22:35] Me: you left most of that here too
[22:35] Jeremy: don't need it in the working world
[22:36] Me: it will go well with your animal skin suit at the wedding
[22:39] Jeremy: I hope you produce the world's next shakespeare out of all this creative thought

You had a boyfriend

Me: Well somebody told me
Clarissa: you had a girlfriend
Me: You had a boyfriend
Clarissa: boyfriend
Me: dangit
Me: how'd you know??
Clarissa: i know the song
Me: yeah but wtf

Marxy

[21:39] Me: hey can you explain why Bourgeois is pronounced Buuuzzzwaaazeee?
[21:39] Clarissa: no
[21:40] Clarissa: that's pronounced "boorjzwa!"
[21:40] Me: and one step up from that, can you pronounce bourgeois with the Spanish pronunciation set?

TMNT and Art History

Me: So what tidings are amuck with you this fair eve?
Vanessa: i have two papers i have to write for tuesday and my day tomorro is really busy so im trying to get them done but its not really working out
Me: Well you're talking to me/others online - a bit of a conflict of attention, right?
Vanessa: yep for sure
Me: I guess that means there's no question about it - I'll have to help you write your paper
Me: okay!
Me: so what's it on?
Vanessa: the one i havent even started yet is on an article about michelangelo
Me: Aha!
Me: So
Me: Obviously the coolest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I think he offers a variety of concepts and themes of [insert discipline here] significance!
Me: Perhaps the sybolism in pizza evident in most episodes, or his childish amiability that helped to keep the group together - or maybe why the phrase Cow-a-bunga needs to be rejuvinated with fresh usage in common conversations?
Vanessa: hahaha thanks for the great thesis
Me: Are you an art person
Me: ?
Vanessa: ya im an art history fan
Me: dear god I'm sorry
Me: Who was the person who did this to you?'
Me: I'll shoot them out of a cannon into the nearest black hole

Running into Churros?

[11:56] Me: how far are you running now?
[11:57] Alicia: about five miles a day
[11:57] Alicia: maybe today more since its the weekend
[11:58] Alicia: there's a lady selling churros
[11:58] Alicia: right outside my window
[11:58] Alicia: she sounds ilke a cat

Funny bone is connected to the

Me: Ben if I got you a skeleton would it help you learn your bones better for Med school?
Ben: Who are you planning on getting it from?

Lost Steph's IM

[03:18] Steph: uh oh, jeff isn't payign attention
[03:18] Steph: i'm going to start talking crazy talk
[03:18] Steph: green marigolds drinking turpentine
[03:18] Steph: mcdonalds is healthy
[03:18] Steph: oj didn't do it
[03:18] Steph: nicole richie is fat
[03:19] Steph: parrots walking downstairs like milking goats
--
[01:26] Steph: oh no he isn't leaving
[01:26] Steph: OH NO
[01:26] Steph: HELP
[01:26] Steph: i'm too young for this!
[01:31] Me: hi
[01:31] Me: uh oh
[01:31] Me: I left to get cereal
[01:31] Me: and your apartment turns into a porn movie
[01:31] Steph: yes hello
[01:31] Me: poke him with a stick
[01:31] Me: ready go
[01:31] Steph: mmph
[01:31] Steph: she closed her door
[01:31] Steph: i can't jsut go in with a stick
[01:32] Steph: he isn't a badger!

Happy Moments

[03:06] Me: not everyone has quite your zeal for life and compassion ;)
[03:07] Me: but yeah I don't know - maybe it'll just take a little time to chip it away
[03:07] Me: try asking them what their favorite stuffed animals were as a kid or something
[03:09] Me: questions of childhood tend to disarm our inhibitions about current station in life and dissolve self-consciousness about appearance or social standing and the like. Everyone has fond memories from childhood - be it the playground, Santa Claus, grandmothers/grandfathers, or just a Teddy bear we hugged to keep us safe from the monsters under the bed.
[03:11] Alicia: did you just write that??
[03:11] Alicia: or hadyou come up with that before?
[03:11] Me: yeah
[03:11] Alicia: that sounded very professional:-P
[03:11] Me: I wrote it on the spot :)

Abuse Me

[22:01] Me: Hey
[22:01] Me: flyers
[22:01] Me: I get free printing
[22:01] Me: abuse me
[22:01] * Murph abuses Jeff Ginger
[22:01] Stork: thats dirty
[22:01] Steph: hot
[22:01] Stork: can you get color paper?
[22:01] Stork: like
[22:01] Stork: blue
[22:01] Me: color printing
[22:01] Stork: green
[22:01] Me: or
[22:01] Me: if you have color paper
[22:01] Stork: no no
[22:01] Stork: coolor paper
[22:01] Me: I can put it in the printer
[22:02] Stork: psh
[22:02] Melissa: not pastels, tho
[22:02] Steph: why
[22:02] Murph: pastels for the WIN!!!
[22:02] Stork: WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY FAR BEYOND COLORED PAPER

Sean and Calculators

[00:36] sean: hey I got a question for you that maybe you could figure out
[00:36] me: hmmm>?
[00:36] sean: did you take 232?
[00:36] sean: well regardless
[00:37] sean: so I know assembly for a few various CPU's including the z80 which is what's used in the ti-83 series (I know it's nerdy but whatever)
[00:38] sean: and I noticed my headset for my phone was a the same size jack as the one on my calc (2.5mm) so I wrote myself a nifty little recording program on my 83+
[00:38] sean: you press record, it records a couple seconds (it only has so much free RAM) and then you can play it back
[00:39] sean: the problem is, you have to make very loud tones into the mic to pick up anything
[00:40] sean: I figure it's probably just an issue between picking up a digital signal when I'm trying to send an analog one but I was thinking maybe if I hooked up this little 9v pre-amp thing I've got I could get a bit better quality
[00:40] sean: the question is, how bad do you think it is to hook up a 9v battery to my calc?
[00:40] sean: haha
[00:41] sean: long story short question
[00:41] me: I think this is like hooking up a car battery to a lawn mower
[00:41] me: a great idea
[00:42] me: (I actually don't know, but if you're not sending charge over anything you could try)
[00:42] me: do you have a bunch of adapters for it?
[00:42] me: and wait, why are you trying to record on to your calculator again?