Placing the G

Geph: Tuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Martuzzo: JEEEEEEEEEEFGGGGGGGGFFFFF
Geph: The G goes after the first name
Geph: and before strings, forces and funks
Martuzzo: and whiz

Rain shapes

Geph: my window is a starfield of water droplets
Geph: you must have a veritable sky upstairs!
Geph: You should probably romantically slow dance with Jean up there
Robin: my window is water droplets pixelated on the screen
Robin: like a crazy game of rain tetris

Glucos Intolerant Peon Ninja

Michelle B: i am a yellow belt in karate!! hardcore i know.
Geph: What order do they go in? This is like my comparative rank in forensics, I think
Michelle B: white - yellow - other colors - black
Geph: so you're like the peon ninja in videogames who takes two hits to defeat instead of one?
Michelle B: i almost just typed "f you" but then decided to be nice
Michelle B: hahaha
Geph: :o yeah that would be uncharacteristically angry and probably cause me to offer to bring you cookies or something
Geph: so, what I'm saying, is that intimidation is a sweet deal and I'm a big joke
Michelle B: oh not in an angry way, just in a "ima hurt you and then we'll see about those two hits" badass kind of way
Michelle B: no need to bring the cookies. though cookies are always awesome.
Michelle B: i'm pretty hardcore. in a very not hardcore kind of way ;)
Geph: it could be a double-cross, I had this tub of industrial strength cookie dough sitting in my fridge for about 5 months...
Michelle B: ewww
Geph: we gifted it to my roommate's GF's enemy roommates, so that they could gift it to their monkey's uncle's cousin's avatar
Michelle B: oh, of course
Geph: it was glucos free, but had a heavy nut contingent
Michelle B: enemy roommates tend to have that
Geph: glucos intolerance or they're a contingent of nuts?
Geph: (you should see their flour protest banners)
Michelle B: ba dum ch!
Geph: stop humoring my bad sense of humor :)

Ringing Resistance

Geph: so wait what's the deal with your rings?
Tarida: wait, what do you mean?
Tarida: the deal as in the migratory nature?
Tarida: or did i miss something?
Geph: yeah
Geph: unless there's another story
Geph: like it's ability to talk to you, turn you invisible, and cause you to run eternally across the lands of middle earth fleeing velociraptors done up like the Greek myth boat man only to find yourself stuck with the totally lame power of heart with a Monkey side kick
Tarida: no that's about it; just that i had to pretend to be engaged at one point because of some dude on the bus
Tarida: but that sounds really pathetic now that i've seen it typed in print :)
Tarida: whoa, you just managed to combine....what, 3-4 movies in one sentence there
Geph:

Outside of my window

Geph: Oooh I do hope you're doing dinner at 1am
Robin: pasta + venture bros
Geph: You are too cool for your own good I'm afraid
Robin: are you a venture fan too???
Geph: No but people cooler than me are
Geph: like my roommate and my creepy friend
Robin: am i the creepy friend
Geph: Depends, are you outside of my window?
Robin: technically yes?

Happyface Translation

Grandmother internet and Lesbian attraction

Martuzzo: what takes ya back home?
Me: grandmother's request
Me: she wants internet
Me: and it's my grandmother
Me: you can't fuck with her man
Martuzzo: haha
Me: she kicks 14 kinds of ass and takes as least as many names
Martuzzo: i wish my parents would beg me for internet
Me: haha
Me: you guys still have dial up at home??
Martuzzo: nah we have internet
Martuzzo: they just dont use it
Me: ooh
Martuzzo: so sometimes it goes down
Martuzzo: and they dont even care lol
Me: wow
Me: ours goes down for maybe an hour
Me: and Matt goes into withdrawal
Me: I would too but I have my backup meds
Me: my phone
Me: I also don't suffer from the WoW affliction

--

Me: so how do I make myself more appealing to a lesbian?
Martuzzo: more girly?
Martuzzo: idk
Martuzzo: feminine?
Martuzzo: lol
Martuzzo: that is my guess
Me: I don't think I'm very feminine
Me: I could wear Michelle's clothes
Me: EH???
Me: (I wish she were here to squeal at that)
Martuzzo: lol
Martuzzo: i will squeal instead
Martuzzo: ahhhhhhlwkhnlk.jheff
Me: haha
Martuzzo: wow i almost spelled jeff there

If only everything were an invention

Me: So does your coat do anything cool like sprout laser guns or extend a helicopter arm in the back>?
Martha: oh cool
Martha: haha no
Martha: not really just covers me
Me: flame repellent at least?
Me: or brightly colored?
Martha: haha i actually don't know if it is or not
Martha: no its gray
Martha: but its fashionable
Me: aha
Me: camouflage and yet potentially distracting
Me: you can be a walking contradiction

--

Me: Imagine me waving a foam finger about cheering you on
Martha: haha thanks jeff
Martha: you're awesome!
Martha: :)
Me: (see how much work imagination saves me? I totally have my feet up right now. Though I do wish I had a giant foam finger, it would have endless uses)
Martha: haha you're crazy!
Me: dude, foam finger with changeable text - almost as good of an idea as a drainable table or equipping cars with both a happy and an angry horn

This is a pretty ordinary conversation for her and I

Me: I mean project planning may happen better when hanging from a wall, I've never tried before
Serra: But it is harder to type that way
Me: Talking about real things and eating food, however, is less awesome
But what if I shouted words at you to type from above
Work on my sermanic tone and all
Serra: ....that could work
Me: Hokay so bad ideas aside
Let's jig tomorrow
But what?
Serra: sounds good
but?
Me: Time/place/costume
Serra: Tomorrow, post-7...somewhere?
I'll be in ninja gear
Me: K, I have new pants that I like too much
Serra: no such thing as liking pants too much
Me: Actually proper protocol is to like them when you're not wearing them
Is Ninja practice on campus?
Serra: yup!
at channing-murray
Me: Ooh
I have yet to eat there
And you have no cabbage roll
SO if we want food to be involved I will pay
Serra: :p I can vaguely support myself with hippie food
do they serve in the evening?
Me: One of these days we need to break into the Alumni center!

Talking to Tuzzo about girls

Me: my friend has suggested that next time I talk to [someone] I sit down next to her and say as frankly as I can, "So.... what are your thoughts on abortion?"
Me: I'm pretty sure I couldn't do this with a straight face
Me: which makes it even worse

--

Me: oh if I only I could turn Leanne into a feminine crusader
Martuzzo: haha
Me: asking out shy boys and making them feel good about themselves
Me: probably ethically a poor choice because she'd just be leading them on
Me: but still

--

Me: I just wrapped that tennis racket that attached you
Me: with black seething death
Me: ALSO
Me: EARTH SHATTERING EVENT
Me: Almost screen-shot worth
Me: Ashley is attending an event on Facebook
Me: she actually replied
Me: HOLY GOD
Me: the world may collapse
Me: in other news
Me: the horrible highlights section on Facebook has informed me
Me: that Megean is tooling around on Facebook while actively logged on to AIM and very much not responding to me
Me: this coffin is running out of space for nails

Tennis and PB&J Time

Me: we last like an hour at most though
Me: and I'm full of way too much Peanut Butter Jelly time at the moment
Martuzzo: hahaha
Martuzzo: that = energy for tennis
Me: eventually
Me: once the dance sensation reaches past the stomach

iPEC

[22:02] Casey: HEll yeah
[22:02] Casey: I am alive
[22:02] Casey: AND playing fast and loose with the CAPS LOCK
[22:02] Me: HOLY SHIT
[22:02] Me: He's advanced to level two of Scientology where they reveal the cruise-control for cool
[22:03] Casey: I have no thetans
[22:03] Casey: I either have no thetans or all the thetans
[22:03] Me: So the citizenry has polled, no protested, no postered me continuously to ask you a very important question
[22:04] Casey: yes.
[22:04] Casey: I am ready.
[22:06] Me: oh right right
[22:06] Me: sorry head in the toilet again
[22:06] Me: one cannot resist the swirly
[22:07] Me: anywho what happens to you after they dis-awesomely discharge you from the Americorps?
[22:07] Casey: You mean when I get canned, or when I make it out?
[22:07] Me: Or take over the operation and sell it as the answer to level-three of Scientology
...
[22:10] Me: So not founding an international positive event chain NGO
[22:11] Me: When is your time up?
[22:11] Casey: mid-june
[22:11] Casey: just in time to NOT be able to hit any summer internships
[22:11] Casey: (thanks, asshats)
[22:12] Casey: yeah the IPEC is going to have to wait
[22:13] Casey: until it doesn't sound either like an international oil agreement, or a new Apple-produced exercise device

Ass groove

[17:56] Me: my mom is all about wasting money
[17:56] Me: it's a huge problem
[17:56] Me: anyway
[17:56] Me: I won't rant about her
[17:56] Me: instead
[17:56] Me: I shall talk about my old computer chair
[17:56] Me: that I love
[17:56] Me: because it's falling apart
[17:56] Me: but it's awesome
[17:56] Me: you can tip back in so many dangerous ways
[17:56] Me: it's like an adventure every time you sit down
[17:57] Laura: heehee
[17:57] Laura: and super comfortable I'm sure
[17:57] Me: it has an ass groove better than Shakira
[17:57] Laura: ....
[17:57] Me: (does Shakira have a good ass groove?)

Final Paper

Swamy: Sadly, not many sentences escaped my wrath
Me: good
Me: those motherfuckers
Me: trying to communicate
Me: the nerve

Childhood Obesity

Ishan: anyways, i asked about camping, and you didn't give me a clear answer
Ishan: know this I am very sweet
Ishan: infact I am responsible for most childhood obesity in america
Ishan: so, that should no doubt convince you

Caveman vs. Zombie

Me: yawn
Ashley: good morning sunshine
Me: I'm trying to figure out which I'm closer to upon waking up
Me: a caveman or a zombie
Ashley: hahahaha
Ashley: thats cute
Me: you're cute
Me: awwwwww shit disssss

Package for Alex

[12:06] Me: Dood we should ship Alex something funny
[12:06] Dave: like fecal matter in a bag

The New Deal

Though the depression wrought by lack of blogged AIM chatter has been great, I have no formally relocated the confused mass to its own blog, what you see here. From now on I'll place AIM snippets where they belong. Happy smileys.

Talents

[22:28] Will: I must say jeff, your web designing skills have grown tremendously over the years[22:28] *** Auto-response sent to Will: I am Finding Neverland
[22:28] Will: Also I'm ranked 5000 out of 500,000 in Battlefield 2142

Unnecessary Cars

[02:46] Alicia: im not in the market for a new car...and i'll never be able to afford one...so i don't know what it is exactly that im trying to accomplish
[02:46] Jeff: You're becoming informed
[02:47] Alicia: haha
[02:47] Jeff: or falling prey to evil soul eating consumerism
[02:47] Jeff: you decide
[02:47] Alicia: do you know you can get a mercedes for only 30,000??
[02:47] Alicia: incredible
[02:47] Alicia: i think
[02:47] Alicia: im going to ride a bike
[02:47] Jeff: No, but that's about as much as I might be making per year after I start working
[02:47] Alicia: for the rest of my life
[02:47] Alicia: hahahahahaha
[02:47] Jeff: man, helping people
[02:47] Alicia: i know
[02:47] Jeff: what a sweet deal