Placing the G

Geph: Tuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Martuzzo: JEEEEEEEEEEFGGGGGGGGFFFFF
Geph: The G goes after the first name
Geph: and before strings, forces and funks
Martuzzo: and whiz

Rain shapes

Geph: my window is a starfield of water droplets
Geph: you must have a veritable sky upstairs!
Geph: You should probably romantically slow dance with Jean up there
Robin: my window is water droplets pixelated on the screen
Robin: like a crazy game of rain tetris

Glucos Intolerant Peon Ninja

Michelle B: i am a yellow belt in karate!! hardcore i know.
Geph: What order do they go in? This is like my comparative rank in forensics, I think
Michelle B: white - yellow - other colors - black
Geph: so you're like the peon ninja in videogames who takes two hits to defeat instead of one?
Michelle B: i almost just typed "f you" but then decided to be nice
Michelle B: hahaha
Geph: :o yeah that would be uncharacteristically angry and probably cause me to offer to bring you cookies or something
Geph: so, what I'm saying, is that intimidation is a sweet deal and I'm a big joke
Michelle B: oh not in an angry way, just in a "ima hurt you and then we'll see about those two hits" badass kind of way
Michelle B: no need to bring the cookies. though cookies are always awesome.
Michelle B: i'm pretty hardcore. in a very not hardcore kind of way ;)
Geph: it could be a double-cross, I had this tub of industrial strength cookie dough sitting in my fridge for about 5 months...
Michelle B: ewww
Geph: we gifted it to my roommate's GF's enemy roommates, so that they could gift it to their monkey's uncle's cousin's avatar
Michelle B: oh, of course
Geph: it was glucos free, but had a heavy nut contingent
Michelle B: enemy roommates tend to have that
Geph: glucos intolerance or they're a contingent of nuts?
Geph: (you should see their flour protest banners)
Michelle B: ba dum ch!
Geph: stop humoring my bad sense of humor :)

Ringing Resistance

Geph: so wait what's the deal with your rings?
Tarida: wait, what do you mean?
Tarida: the deal as in the migratory nature?
Tarida: or did i miss something?
Geph: yeah
Geph: unless there's another story
Geph: like it's ability to talk to you, turn you invisible, and cause you to run eternally across the lands of middle earth fleeing velociraptors done up like the Greek myth boat man only to find yourself stuck with the totally lame power of heart with a Monkey side kick
Tarida: no that's about it; just that i had to pretend to be engaged at one point because of some dude on the bus
Tarida: but that sounds really pathetic now that i've seen it typed in print :)
Tarida: whoa, you just managed to combine....what, 3-4 movies in one sentence there
Geph:

Outside of my window

Geph: Oooh I do hope you're doing dinner at 1am
Robin: pasta + venture bros
Geph: You are too cool for your own good I'm afraid
Robin: are you a venture fan too???
Geph: No but people cooler than me are
Geph: like my roommate and my creepy friend
Robin: am i the creepy friend
Geph: Depends, are you outside of my window?
Robin: technically yes?

Happyface Translation

Grandmother internet and Lesbian attraction

Martuzzo: what takes ya back home?
Me: grandmother's request
Me: she wants internet
Me: and it's my grandmother
Me: you can't fuck with her man
Martuzzo: haha
Me: she kicks 14 kinds of ass and takes as least as many names
Martuzzo: i wish my parents would beg me for internet
Me: haha
Me: you guys still have dial up at home??
Martuzzo: nah we have internet
Martuzzo: they just dont use it
Me: ooh
Martuzzo: so sometimes it goes down
Martuzzo: and they dont even care lol
Me: wow
Me: ours goes down for maybe an hour
Me: and Matt goes into withdrawal
Me: I would too but I have my backup meds
Me: my phone
Me: I also don't suffer from the WoW affliction

--

Me: so how do I make myself more appealing to a lesbian?
Martuzzo: more girly?
Martuzzo: idk
Martuzzo: feminine?
Martuzzo: lol
Martuzzo: that is my guess
Me: I don't think I'm very feminine
Me: I could wear Michelle's clothes
Me: EH???
Me: (I wish she were here to squeal at that)
Martuzzo: lol
Martuzzo: i will squeal instead
Martuzzo: ahhhhhhlwkhnlk.jheff
Me: haha
Martuzzo: wow i almost spelled jeff there